Histrionic personality disorder

Histrionic Personality Disorder 776
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Histrionic personality disorder, often abbreviated as HPD, is a type of personality disorder in which the affected individual displays an enduring pattern of attention-seeking and excessively dramatic behaviors beginning in early adulthood and present across a broad range of situations. Individuals with HPD are highly emotional, charming, energetic, manipulative, seductive, impulsive, erratic, and demanding.

Mental health professionals use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the DSM ) to diagnose mental disorders. The 2000 edition of this manual (the fourth edition text revision, also called the DSM-IV-TR ) classifies HPD as a personality disorder. More specifically, HPD is classified as a Cluster B (dramatic, emotional, or erratic) personality disorder. The personality disorders which comprise Cluster B include histrionic, antisocial, borderline, and narcissistic.


HPD has a unique position among the personality disorders in that it is the only personality disorder explicitly connected to a patient's physical appearance. Researchers have found that HPD appears primarily in men and women with above-average physical appearances. Some research has suggested that the connection between HPD and physical appearance holds for women rather than for men. Both women and men with HPD express a strong need to be the center of attention. Individuals with HPD exaggerate, throw temper tantrums, and cry if they are not the center of attention. Patients with HPD are naive, gullible, have a low frustration threshold, and strong dependency needs.

Cognitive style can be defined as a way in which an individual works with and solves cognitive tasks such as reasoning, learning, thinking, understanding, making decisions, and using memory. The cognitive style of individuals with HPD is superficial and lacks detail. In their inter-personal relationships, individuals with HPD use dramatization with a goal of impressing others. The enduring pattern of their insincere and stormy relationships leads to impairment in social and occupational areas.

Causes and symptoms


There is a lack of research on the causes of HPD. Even though the causes for the disorder are not definitively known, it is thought that HPD may be caused by biological, developmental, cognitive, and social factors.

NEUROCHEMICAL/PHYSIOLOGICAL CAUSES. Studies show that patients with HPD have highly responsive noradrenergic systems, the mechanisms surrounding the release of a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine. Neurotransmitters are chemicals that communicate impulses from one nerve cell to another in the brain , and these impulses dictate behavior. The tendency towards an excessively emotional reaction to rejection, common among patients with HPD, may be attributed to a malfunction in a group of neurotransmitters called catecholamines. (Norepinephrine belongs to this group of neurotransmitters.)

DEVELOPMENTAL CAUSES. Psychoanalytic theory, developed by Freud, outlines a series of psychosexual stages of development through which each individual passes. These stages determine an individual's later psychological development as an adult. Early psychoanalysts proposed that the genital phase, Freud's fifth or last stage of psychosexual development, is a determinant of HPD. Later psychoanalysts considered the oral phase, Freud's first stage of psychosexual development, to be a more important determinant of HPD. Most psychoanalysts agree that a traumatic childhood contributes towards the development of HPD. Some theorists suggest that the more severe forms of HPD derive from disapproval in the early mother-child relationship.

Another component of Freud's theory is the defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms are sets of systematic, unconscious methods that people develop to cope with conflict and to reduce anxiety. According to Freud's theory, all people use defense mechanisms, but different people use different types of defense mechanisms. Individuals with HPD differ in the severity of the maladaptive defense mechanisms they use. Patients with more severe cases of HPD may utilize the defense mechanisms of repression, denial , and dissociation.

  • Repression. Repression is the most basic defense mechanism. When patients' thoughts produce anxiety or are unacceptable to them, they use repression to bar the unacceptable thoughts or impulses from consciousness.
  • Denial. Patients who use denial may say that a prior problem no longer exists, suggesting that their competence has increased; however, others may note that there is no change in the patients' behaviors.
  • Dissociation. When patients with HPD use the defense mechanism of dissociation, they may display two or more personalities. These two or more personalities exist in one individual without integration. Patients with less severe cases of HPD tend to employ displacement and rationalization as defenses.
  • Displacement occurs when a patient shifts an affect from one idea to another. For example, a man with HPD may feel angry at work because the boss did not consider him to be the center of attention. The patient may displace his anger onto his wife rather than become angry at his boss.
  • Rationalization occurs when individuals explain their behaviors so that they appear to be acceptable to others.

BIOSOCIAL LEARNING CAUSES. A biosocial model in psychology asserts that social and biological factors contribute to the development of personality. Biosocial learning models of HPD suggest that individuals may acquire HPD from inconsistent interpersonal reinforcement offered by parents. Proponents of biosocial learning models indicate that individuals with HPD have learned to get what they want from others by drawing attention to themselves.

SOCIOCULTURAL CAUSES. Studies of specific cultures with high rates of HPD suggest social and cultural causes of HPD. For example, some researchers would expect to find this disorder more often among cultures that tend to value uninhibited displays of emotion.

PERSONAL VARIABLES. Researchers have found some connections between the age of individuals with HPD and the behavior displayed by these individuals. The symptoms of HPD are long-lasting; however, histrionic character traits that are exhibited may change with age. For example, research suggests that seductiveness may be employed more often by a young adult than by an older one. To impress others, older adults with HPD may shift their strategy from sexual seductiveness to a paternal or maternal seductiveness. Some histrionic symptoms such as attention-seeking, however, may become more apparent as an individual with HPD ages.


DSM-IV-TR lists eight symptoms that form the diagnostic criteria for HPD:

  • Center of attention: Patients with HPD experience discomfort when they are not the center of attention.
  • Sexually seductive: Patients with HPD displays inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behaviors towards others.
  • Shifting emotions: The expression of emotions of patients with HPD tends to be shallow and to shift rapidly.
  • Physical appearance: Individuals with HPD consistently employ physical appearance to gain attention for themselves.
  • Speech style: The speech style of patients with HPD lacks detail. Individuals with HPD tend to generalize, and when these individuals speak, they aim to please and impress.
  • Dramatic behaviors: Patients with HPD display self-dramatization and exaggerate their emotions.
  • Suggestibility: Other individuals or circumstances can easily influence patients with HPD.
  • Overestimation of intimacy: Patients with HPD overestimate the level of intimacy in a relationship.


General United States population

The prevalence of HPD in the general population is estimated to be approximately 2%-3%.

High-risk populations

Individuals who have experienced pervasive trauma during childhood have been shown to be at a greater risk for developing HPD as well as for developing other personality disorders.

Cross-cultural issues

HPD may be diagnosed more frequently in Hispanic and Latin-American cultures and less frequently in Asian cultures. Further research is needed on the effects of culture upon the symptoms of HPD.

Gender issues

Clinicians tend to diagnose HPD more frequently in females; however, when structured assessments are used to diagnose HPD, clinicians report approximately equal prevalence rates for males and females. In considering the prevalence of HPD, it is important to recognize that gender role stereotypes may influence the behavioral display of HPD and that women and men may display HPD symptoms differently.


The diagnosis of HPD is complicated because it may seem like many other disorders, and also because it commonly occurs simultaneously with other personality disorders. The 1994 version of the DSM introduced the criterion of suggestibility and the criterion of overestimation of intimacy in relationships to further refine the diagnostic criteria set of HPD, so that it could be more easily recognizable. Prior to assigning a diagnosis of HPD, clinicians need to evaluate whether the traits evident of HPD cause significant distress. (The DSM requires that the symptoms cause significant distress in order to be considered a disorder.) The diagnosis of HPD is frequently made on the basis of an individual's history and results from unstructured and semi-structured interviews.

Time of onset/symptom duration

Some psychoanalysts propose that the determinants of HPD date back as early as early childhood. The pattern of craving attention and displaying dramatic behavior for an individual with HPD begins by early adulthood. Symptoms can last a lifetime, but may decrease or change their form with age.

Individual variations in HPD

Some classification systems distinguish between different types of individuals with HPD: patients with appeasing HPD and patients with disingenuous HPD. Individuals with appeasing HPD have personalities with histrionic, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive components. Individuals with disingenuous HPD possess personality traits that are classified as histrionic and antisocial. Studies have shown that relationships exist between somatic behaviors and women with HPD and between antisocial behaviors and men with HPD.

Dual diagnoses

HPD has been associated with alcoholism and with higher rates of somatization disorder , conversion disorder , and major depressive disorder . Personality disorders such as borderline, narcissistic, antisocial, and dependent can occur with HPD.

Differential diagnosis

Differential diagnosis is the process of distinguishing one mental disorder from other similar disorders. For example, at times, it is difficult to distinguish between HPD and borderline personality disorder . Suicide attempts, identity diffusion, and numerous chaotic relationships occur less frequently, however, with a diagnosis of HPD. Another example of overlap can occur between HPD and dependent personality disorder . Patients with HPD and dependent personality disorder share high dependency needs, but only dependent personality disorder is linked to high levels of self-attributed dependency needs. Whereas patients with HPD tend to be active and seductive, individuals with dependent personality disorder tend to be subservient in their demeanor.

Psychological measures

In addition to the interviews mentioned previously, self-report inventories and projective tests can also be used to help the clinician diagnose HPD. The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory-2 (MMPI-2) and the Millon Clinical Mutiaxial Inventory-III (MCMI-III) are self-report inventories with a lot of empirical support. Results of intelligence examinations for individuals with HPD may indicate a lack of perseverance on arithmetic or on tasks that require concentration.


Psychodynamic therapy

HPD, like other personality disorders, may require several years of therapy and may affect individuals throughout their lives. Some professionals believe that psychoanalytic therapy is a treatment of choice for HPD because it assists patients to become aware of their own feelings. Long-term psychodynamic therapy needs to target the underlying conflicts of individuals with HPD and to assist patients in decreasing their emotional reactivity. Therapists work with thematic dream material related to intimacy and recall. Individuals with HPD may have difficulty recalling because of their tendency to repress material.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Cognitive therapy is a treatment directed at reducing the dysfunctional thoughts of individuals with HPD. Such thoughts include themes about not being able to take care of oneself. Cognitive therapy for HPD focuses on a shift from global, suggestible thinking to a more methodical, systematic, and structured focus on problems. Cognitive-behavioral training in relaxation for an individual with HPD emphasizes challenging automatic thoughts about inferiority and not being able to handle one's life. Cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches individuals with HPD to identify automatic thoughts, to work on impulsive behavior, and to develop better problem-solving skills. Behavioral therapists employ assertiveness training to assist individuals with HPD to learn to cope using their own resources. Behavioral therapists use response cost to decrease the excessively dramatic behaviors of these individuals. Response cost is a behavioral technique that involves removing a stimulus from an individual's environment so that the response that directly precedes the removal is weakened. Behavioral therapy for HPD includes techniques such as modeling and behavioral rehearsal to teach patients about the effect of their theatrical behavior on others in a work setting.

Group therapy

Group therapy is suggested to assist individuals with HPD to work on interpersonal relationships. Psychodrama techniques or group role play can assist individuals with HPD to practice problems at work and to learn to decrease the display of excessively dramatic behaviors. Using role-playing, individuals with HPD can explore interpersonal relationships and outcomes to understand better the process associated with different scenarios. Group therapists need to monitor the group because individuals with HPD tend to take over and dominate others.

Family therapy

To teach assertion rather than avoidance of conflict, family therapists need to direct individuals with HPD to speak directly to other family members. Family therapy can support family members to meet their own needs without supporting the histrionic behavior of the individual with HPD who uses dramatic crises to keep the family closely connected. Family therapists employ behavioral contracts to support assertive behaviors rather than temper tantrums.


Pharmacotherapy is not a treatment of choice for individuals with HPD unless HPD occurs with another disorder. For example, if HPD occurs with depression, antidepressants may be prescribed. Medication needs to be monitored for abuse.

Alternative therapies

Meditation has been used to assist extroverted patients with HPD to relax and to focus on their own inner feelings. Some therapists employ hypnosis to assist individuals with HPD to relax when they experience a fast heart rate or palpitations during an expression of excessively dramatic, emotional, and excitable behavior.


The personality characteristics of individuals with HPD are long-lasting. Individuals with HPD utilize medical services frequently, but they usually do not stay in psychotherapeutic treatment long enough to make changes. They tend to set vague goals and to move toward something more exciting. Treatment for HPD can take a minimum of one to three years and tends to take longer than treatment for disorders that are not personality disorders, such as anxiety disorders or mood disorders.

As individuals with HPD age, they display fewer symptoms. Some research suggests that the difference between older and younger individuals may be attributed to the fact that older individuals have less energy.

Research indicates that a relationship exists between poor treatment outcomes and premature termination from treatment for individuals with Cluster B personality disorders. Some researchers suggest that studies that link HPD to continuation in treatment need to consider the connection between overestimates of intimacy and premature termination from therapy.


Early diagnosis can assist patients and family members to recognize the pervasive pattern of reactive emotion among individuals with HPD. Educating people, particularly mental health professionals, about the enduring character traits of individuals with HPD may prevent some cases of mild histrionic behavior from developing into full-blown cases of maladaptive HPD. Further research in prevention needs to investigate the relationship between variables such as age, gender, culture, and ethnicity and HPD.

See also Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory



American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 4th edition, text revised. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association, 2000.

Bockian, Neil, Ph.D., and Arthur E. Jongsma, Jr., Ph.D. The Personality Disorders Treatment Planner. New York: Wiley, 2001.

Bornstein, Robert F. "Dependent and Histrionic Personality Disorders." In Oxford Textbook of Psychopathology, edited by Theodore Millon, Ph.D., Paul H. Blaney, and Roger D. Davis. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1999.

Widiger, Thomas A., Ph.D., and Robert F. Bornstein, Ph.D. "Histrionic, Narcissistic, and Dependent Personality Disorders." In Comprehensive Handbook of Psychopathology, edited by Patricia B. Sutker and Henry E. Adams. 3rd edition. New York: Kluwer Academic/Plenum Publishers, 2001.


Bornstein, Robert F. "Implicit and Self-Attributed Dependency Needs in Dependent and Histrionic Personality Disorders." Journal of Personality Assessment 71, no. 1 (1998): 1-14.

Bornstein, Robert F. "Histrionic Personality Disorder, Physical Attractiveness, and Social Adjustment." Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment 21, no. 1 (1999): 79-94.

Hilsenroth, Mark J., Daniel, J. Holdwick, Jr., Frank D. Castlebury, and Mark A. Blais. "The Effects of DSM-IV Cluster B Personality Disorder Symptoms on the Termination and Continuation of Psychotherapy." Psychotherapy 35, no. 2 (Summer 1998): 163-176.


American Psychiatric Association. 1400 K Street NW, Washington D.C. 20005. <http://www.psych.org> .

American Psychological Association. 750 First Street, NE, Washington, D.C. 20002-4242. (202) 336-5500. <http://www.apa.org> .

Judy Koenigsberg, Ph.D.

User Contributions:

-what do you do when you are a single parent( the father) and the mother of your 11 year old has this dissorder? And you might think that your child has it?
It is really a shame that there is not any medication to treat histrionic PD because this is a physical problem even though it manifests as mental symptoms. It affects one's entire life, and most people affected will not admit it and are certainly not organized or emotionally steady enough to agree to psychotherapy. My ex-husband was brilliant, educated, unable to hold a job his whole life due to his need to be the center of attention. My daughter has a bachelor of science in psychology!! and the same is true of her.
Hi, could someone please explain the difference between Co-dependency and HPD? Is co-dependency a personality disorder? My sister has recently been diagnosed with co-dependendcy although having read this article it sure seems like HPD. Could a therapist have possibly misdiagnosed her? What are the key differentiators?

Wow. It's all I can say. I've known my wife for almost half my life, and this is the most concise description of her personality I've ever read, though definitely more appeasement than anti-social. Suddenly all the pain makes sense; and makes me even more afraid for the children. Anyone have info as to what the effects of a parent with this disorder will do to the children? We're already divorced, in case anyone is wondering; I'm not so cold as to leave someone to protect her children!
This really sounds like me. I am currently seeing a psychotherapist and have been on anti anxiety medication for 2 years now. I have found that it does not help though and now I can see why. I am going to have to explain to my psychiatrist the embarassing truth which is I seek approval from men (and my psychiatrist is a man, how embarassing). Once I know I have it going on, that is fine, I will move on to the next one, but it is like I need that acceptance. I need to know that they fancy me. I know it sounds so ridiculous and I really wish there was some sort of medication that would just stop this. And the crazy thing is I sometimes look in the mirror and see a monster staring right back at me! I have found that this whole flirting and needing acceptance only really occurred over the last 2 years (I am now 20) and I dread that I will always be like this. I seem to get obsessed with guys that I work with or who are in my boyfriend's life. I am in a 4 year relationship with him and think I should tell him the truth. He needs to understand why I am always asking "do you think I look pretty?". I am always fantasizing about other men and it is really making me feel so guilty....I hate myself for it.
Is there anyone else out there like me??
Friendly Guy
The woman I'm in love with seems to be HPD. I've been around HPD'ers in the past.... Can a HPD woman ever be loyal in a committed relationship? I am actualy interested in trying to work through these issues. Any advise?
Ain't that the truth
To Friendly Guy - run and run NOW. There is no solution to the problem. You may already put in the time and patience yet you will be the loser in this scenario. Unfortunately people who suffer this disorder NEVER see the problem and address it. The love you have for your girl will always be there but it will change with time and distance. Life is too short to go through a constent disappointment. I bet she has cheated on you more than once?
I Have This
I apparently have this and I always thought to myself Im suppose to be alone. People dont realize they are doing this to others. I have some what enjoyed treating men like men treat women. Maybe thats not it I do not agree with one thing on these symptoms. That is the center of attention. I do not like being the center of attention at all. I am pretty, smart and have a very outgoing personality that tends to draw the eye. People with HPD do not enjoy needy people or being smothered. Its all or nothing in a relationship for me and waiting on my boyfriend to get divorced has caused me to cheat and lie. This is apart of HPD if your not getting what you need from the other person all the time you find it elsewhere.
You made some interesting points 'I Have This'. I too enjoy treating men like men are known for treating women, and I too believe it is a result of years of feeling manipulated. A symptom of HPD is manipulation through charm and I identify with that, but unlike the manipulations I've experienced in the past, I simply treat others the way I'd like to be treated. I like to be flirted with and charmed so I treat others that way. The definition of manipulate- is to manage or influence skillfully. That doesn't have to be a bad thing if you use the skill for good instead of evil. My new goal is the truth. I avoid lying to myself or others- even small ones. It's hard but has become a habit like anything else you practice. I have found that being honest with myself has helped me to control some of the behaviors I'd prefer to avoid. I still have a way to go, but doesn't everyone?
I am very shy person, and don't agree with some of the diagnoses. When I was in my late teens, I craved attention and got it anyway I could. I went as far as having sex with strangers at parks and what not. I learned over time, it wasn't even about the sex, it was about the attention and affection. I figured and still do, that if sex is what I have to do to get what I am looking for, then so be it! I have been married for 17 years and have had 5 affairs, acctually more than that if you count the times I had sex with the same partner over and over. I think about it all the time, I look for potential men that are looking as well. I am always coming on to men, and giving subtal hints. I crave it constantly. I just want to be payed attention to. I hate it, and I don't want to be like this! But, in the same breath, I love the attention I get. It is a vicious cycle!
This description is dead-on about my exwife. She cheated on me multiple times, cheated on her other exhusband, and cheated on the people with whom she's cheated. I can see her personality in all the symptoms, but can't explain why she is like this. I don't think she'll ever change either, I'm just worried about my daughter turning out the same way. Understanding her problem has at least allowed me to understand that I'm not responsible for her personal failures.
I have believed for years that I have this as well. I have done a lot of therapy which has helped to a degree, but I stil struggle. I am 39 and very seductive and attractive. I was an actress for years, and always played sexy characters. I cheated on two of my serious boyfriends when I was in my twenties because I simply could not pass up the attention and the excitement. Now I have been married for 10 years, and while my marriage has a lot of intimacy and connection, it has always been volatile, and I have been prone to hysterical fits when I feel my husband is not attuned to me or is rejecting me. He can be mean and distant at times, so it's not as though I'm imagining it, it's just that I can't cope with the feelings it brings up in me. After years of focusing solely on him for attention and fulfillment,I am back to taking attention from wherever I can get it. Young men have been flirting with me and I have been flirting back. I have been telling myself this is just the only way I can ever get my needs met since my husband simply can not do it-even if he pays attention to me it is not the same as the energy I get from a man who wants me for the first time and is mesmerized by my sexual appeal.It's fun, but there's an underlying sense of instability and fear of not getting attention or of someone else being prettier and stealing the spotlight-I hate that part because it makes me feel worthless and terrified that no one will take care of me if I'm not the prettiest. This makes getting older a terrifying prospect as well.
This disorder fits my mother so completely that it makes me physically ill. She has been this way my entire life much to our entire family's(extended family included) detriment. My mother's outrageous, disjointed behavior and her incessant emotional manipulation and abuse of those she supposedly loves has been irretrievably destructive, resulting in an extremely violent and scarring divorce which nearly caused my father to commit both homocide and suicide after succumbing to a nervous breakdown which he has never fully recovered from. My mother used my father like a parasite and would have discarded him if she had actually been capable of holding a job for more than 3 months. She would torture my father with fits of total disgust and rejection and then she would cruelly give him just enough of a glimpse of affection to make HIM forgive HER. My father stayed with her because she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and he foolishly believed that God had put them together so that he could take care of her because no one else would. We later found out that she was incorrectly diagnosed, because even though she exhibited a constant cycling of her behavior and severe emotional lability, concurrent with a major depressive episode following her father's death, she has never experienced any form of a manic episode and her depression eventually went into complete remission after she was put on lithium. Even though this was confirmed several times by different psychiatrists, she still will not admit that nothing is wrong with her and that her problems are the direct result of her catastrophically selfish behavior. The staggering magnitude of her lack of empathy and her constant need to be the center of attention has nearly destroyed me psychologically. I am currently fighting a losing battle with severe recurrant treatment-resistant major depression and general anxiety disorder which I consider to be a direct result of the many years of psychological and emotion abuse, trauma, and neglect that my mother will not even allow herself to recognize because of the impenetrable strength of her denial and delusion. I have even gone so far as to hold a knife to my wrist and swear that I would cut it unless she would at the very least ADMIT that she was responsible for damaging me so severely. My father intervened and restrained me, and all she did was scream at us as she grabbed her keys and left. I am astonished that I am even able to hold a job myself in this fractured state that I can't seem to recover from, regardless of therapy or medication.

Finally, to anyone that has or suspects that they may have this disorder, for the sake of your family and friends(if you still have any) DO SOMETHING! You owe it to yourself and especially everyone around you to realize how you affect them and change those behaviors before it has the potential to destroy them. This is especially true for your children. Try and imagine what it would feel like if your needs were constantly put aside while your own parent throws tantrums like a 3-year old until everyone pays attention to her. Now imagine the abomination of doing this to your own child until he literally begs to be heard, yet even then, you still won't acknowledge him.

If thought of doing this to your own child doesn't make you sick, then congratulations, you either have histrionic personality disorder or you are a psychopath.
I was treated for histrionic disorder in my 40s. I was raped as a child. I am now 63 and do not seek attention. I have lived on my own for 8 years and support myself. I am content with my own company, I have no desire to be with a partner. The patterns above were me, I believe that is behind me now. My elder son said last night that I will always be that way. Can a person change? I feel I have turned the corner.
I can be with friends and listen, I do not have to be the centre of attention. regards Denise
My God... I have turned the corner yes... butb now I realize I am dating a woman like this... someone told me yesterday they met her recently...and her public display around a group of men made this person think that bshe was single.. so she asked me if we were broke up. My current has been a flirt all her life... i dont think she physically fools around but youn never really know... but i do know she purrs around men for that bit of attention... always semi sexual flitratios romantic undertones... sickeningly disgustinmg...and people think these poeple are "nice"...yuck! I better smarten up here.
i have a partner who displays these characteristics he inapropatly makes sexual gestures to my family and has to be centre of attention all the time and over dramatises every thing .and is obsessed by his apperance and has to seek approval of every one and is easily influenced .i love him but dont know how to cope with his behaviour .especially when he makes sexuall gestures to my family and they do it back i dont feel theirs much trust their and cannot settle into this relationship .i have negative symptoms of scitzophrenia havnt got interest in any thing cant concentrate much and dont like drama .all this is making me insecure .should i end this relationship if not could you advice me how to cope with it all thankyou .
I was involved with a woman that matches most of the descriptions in this article. The relationship with her was emotionally exhausting to me, and in the process of recovering (and also in the benefit of science - just in case somebody may learn one-two small new detail about HPS), I am listing below a few of my observations about her:
I met her on a dating site one year ago. The relationship lasted 6 months and we met in person 3 times.
She was the one who approached me on this site the day I registered (her registration number was much smaller, an indication that she was active on that site quite some time). She was very persistent, and demanded me that I stop searching and focus on her.
She was very intelligent and the conversation with her was very smooth, irrespective of topic. Plus, as most males, I was attracted by her visible availability to enter a relationship.
In my profile on that dating site I listed that I was looking for somebody to start a family, so she mentioned marriage and having children very early in our conversation.
Without going into too many details, which would sum up several hundred pages of instant messaging and emails, I noticed about her the followings:
She was extremely sensitive of any remarks about her physical appearance or outfit - she also told me that her mother was the same.
Any time I was taking a photograph of her, she wanted to be the first to view it and decide alone weather to keep the picture or not.
She was in a competition with her female colleagues, and she was using Face-Book to display and to compete with them.
She was very dependent of her mother for household maintenance, cooking, financially, as well as advice. I witnessed several phone conversations between them two, and remember her changed voice (softer to appear helpless), as well as addressing her mother with "treasure" and "little mouse".
According to her, after our marriage, I was supposed to do all the house work until her mother retires to join us.
Conversely she could not stand her father who, as she was telling me, was making occasional jokes about her.
She was hyper-sexual, and at the beginning I was inhibited by her eagerness of having s3x, to the point that I had performance difficulties. She confessed to me that other male that she had been with before had resembling problems.
Although very smart, she was lacking confidence in her academic abilities. I also remember that she was very critical about most of her female professors, and she was pretending that she could not score A’s in their classes, but in those taught by male professors. I think she was flirtatious with some of her male professors (she even mentioned one such case to me close to the end of our relationship).
She told me that we must have erotic chats if I want her not to cheat on me while not together.
We never had unprotected sex. She wanted me to have genetic tests of several HPV virus strings first - which I did.
She probably had body dysmorphic disorder as well (she was smiling in such a way to exposed less her canniness which were a bit prominent, and she never undressed her upper body in front of me because of her straight waist that she was dissatisfied with).
After listing all these defects of her, I wander now how I managed to be in a relationship with her for that long (6 months). By the way, I learned about personality disorders only after we were no longer together.
My mother was diagnosed with this condition 30 years ago. I am on only child a people that know her are constantly amazed "i turned out so well". 4 years ago my fahter had a stroke so my mother left him. She went back to him if we promised to have live in help for him. She instantly befriends the health care workers but soon thinks "they are mad at her and giving all their attention to my father". She cant take "everything being all about my dad" so she is once again leaving him. She constantly says her life in now a nightmare and wants to kill herself if any thing doesnt go her way while selling their home and divorcing him. While we werre trying out a new living situation for her, she was in a duplex. Ther woman on ther other side had night terrors from her days watching her family killed in the Hollocaust. My mother remarked how horrible it was having to hear the woman cry so she wanted her evicted and was frustrated that everyone was so sympathetic to the Hollocaust woman instead of my Mom. At this point, it has almost become comical to me its so absurd. My mother will NEVER care about anyone elses perspectives.
tim armstrong
I was with a partner like this for 28 years. The comments i read here have taken a huge weight off of me.If your with a person with this disorder leave as soon as possible we are all given a shot here on earth there disorder is not your problem as crass as this may sound but it comes from years of abuse/ It has been three years since i have been around this person and i am just comming back to life. The one and only thing that ever worked with her and we have been down every road on this is her brother came and she went back with him. I haq done a bunch of counceling during this relationship and found when she finally left i did not need counceling then or now i just needed to reconect with myself.Believe me i could write a book,also we have for daughters. so hard on them Thank you everyone for your comments it has chaged me for the better.Remeber leave as soon as possible

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