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Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders

I got caught peeping on one of my best friends

I got caught peeping on one of my best friends

Postby needhelp123 » Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:06 pm

This happened this morning. I'm a 25 year old male and I've had an obsession with my female friend for sometime now. Not just sexual, but also emotional. This weekend, she came to visit and was staying at my place in a spare room. On friday, I had thoughts of devising someway to peep on her, but I was able to overcome those feelings and felt good that I wasn't going to do that. We have hung out the last 2 days and i have not had any impulses. Then I woke up this morning and felt angry or upset, about what I do not know, and decided I was going to figure out a way to take pictures of her changing. She caught me through a grate.

I immediately felt horrible, I've betrayed her and I know it and I don't know why I've created this obsession over her.

I called the police to have them come arrest me for the invasion of privacy. They didn't seem to understand why I was calling. She chose not to have me arrested though, instead opting to go with the police until someone can come and pick her up as she lives about an hour away and does not have a car.

I just feel horrible and guilty and full of shame that I did something so stupid. I knew what I was doing was wrong and I did it anyway. I've already called a crisis center and will make an appointment with a counselor tomorrow as all the offices are closed on Sunday. I just don't know how I to deal with the shame and guilt in the time being, I want to apologize and let her know how utterly horrible I feel about it, but I know right now she is too angry and contacting her would be the worst possible thing to do.

I don't want her to go through the rest of her life uncomfortable and feeling she can't trust people because of me, although I doubt there is anything I can do to change that.
needhelp123
 
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Postby kallisti » Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:52 am

I think that the fact that you realize that what you did was wrong, and that it IS a problem is a good sign. I hope you will pursue counseling, and really put an effort into it. We had a similar crisis in our family...my spouse was caught in similar circumstances. I chose not to inform the victims, fearing that to do so would cause them irreparable harm (and I am convinced it would have) He is in therapy...and our marriage is a shambles because of his lies, and becuase he cannot be trusted. Even though he has been in therapy for 2 months, just two nights ago I caught him looking through our neighbors window (from our property...so he claims it was not illegal...which isn't the point!) It just never ends. I am glad you're getting help early, maybe it will be easier for you to learn to control the impulses - it can be done. Good luck to you.
kallisti
 
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Voyuerism

Postby Cristina » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:25 am

Help... I have recently moved in with my boyfriend who I believe to be a voyuer. I need help. I love him very much and want to help him. He seems to be truly embarrassed by his problem. He has recently told me after a huge fight about this that he use to wet the bed when he was young. I am trying to figure out and understand what this has to do with what he has done in the past. he tells me he hasn't done it since the last time i caught him and that he never will again. but part of me knows that it will if he does not get some kind of help. I have no one that I can confide in about this. It is very difficult to discuss it with him. I need some one to talk to and help answer some questions??????
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Postby kallisti » Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:56 am

Cristina

Please encourage him to get professional help. This problem does not go away on it's own, and usually escalates over time if not treated. The voyeur in my life has been doing Behavior Modification Therapy and he really feels it is helping him control his compulsions. From what I have read, voyeurism is connected to compulsion disorders, sexual addiction; also, a childhood filled with trauma and abuse. On the one hand, you might look as this as if your friend were suffering from any other serious illness - like diabetes - he cannot treat it by wanting to not have the symptoms. It cannot be treated by guilt, or by promising to never do it again. It can only be treated with correct professional help.

The voyeur in my life said that the best thing that ever happened to him was finally being busted and threatened with legal consequences. It forced him out of denial - good luck to you.
kallisti
 
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Location: San Francisco

Dear person

Postby mormon general » Fri Oct 26, 2007 9:05 pm

I imagine that you must have really been imbarresd. I think u should just say sorry and start of on a new foot. And see a shrink to see if he/ she's got a solution
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