Is there anyone who has struggled with these disorders or episodes. I was taken from my mother who I dearly loved at the age of 4 and separated from my sister by the age of 5. The foster parents that I had been placed with adopted me. The woman was extremely evil. She verbally, emotionally, sexually and physically abused me until I left home.
When I was placed with her, she cut my waist long hair, changed my name and told me that my "mommy didn't want me anymore" and I had to call her "mommy". She wouldn't tell me where I was born and I didn't find out until I was 17years old. When papers were sent home at the beginning of each school year she would always fill in the blank for "place of birth" as "UNKNOWN". I feel that she robbed me of my identify at a very young age.
I've had episodes of what I described as "spacing out". Tests concluded that I didn't have any forms of epilespsy or brain damage. When I described the feeling of "my mind leaving my body" while I was still functioning, a psychologist said that she suspected that I suffered from disassociative disorder and possibly Post traumatic Stress.
Now that I finally have answers and know that I'm not "crazy", I don't know if I feel good or bad about the diagnosis. I think that good part is that disassociating myself from the abuse was a coping mechanism that wouldn't allow me to feel the pain. I'm confused, though, because I think maybe I should have felt the pain to prevent the situations that I have had to deal with.
Has anyone ever experienced anything like I have described?[/b]