Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders  
Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders

Just a thought - DPD... or what ever it is.

Just a thought - DPD... or what ever it is.

Postby Lelaine » Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:55 pm

Hi all.
I know what this is like. I've dealt with it since before I can remember.
I had been dealing with it, thinking that it was normal, and the numb/floating/un-real/detached/dead feeling began to get more intense.I never wanted to be around anyone. I hated people and then I started to feel like two people in one body. there was the "ugly thing" sucking the life out of me, telling me I couldn't and then there was ME, trying to get through every day. I felt like it was sitting on top of me, draining me of all my emotion and energy. I eventually began cutting my sides, wrists, legs, ect. and it seemed to help me get back in touch with myself. Wake "me" up so I could start the "battle" with the "ugly thing", and eventually I just became confused on which one was the REAL me. It was all about what was reality and what wasn't

Anyway, I was completely confused and scared with what was going on in my head. I was scared I was going completely insane. I could see myself moving, doing things, but I didn't feel I was actually doing anything. Going anywhere. I began doing all sorts of stupid things to feel "alive" again.

There is hope, everyone. Not to sound like some kind of holy moly, but there IS hope. It's right in front of all of us. Just get busy. Forget about your head. Forget about not feeling. that's who you are, and you aren't going to be able to change it.
To feel alive, be around other living, breathing people, no matter how hard it may be.
Go and observe the world. YOU ARE IN IT, and it's a beautiful thing.
Feel your body working. Take care of. Run. Jump. Try hard to laugh. Try hard to love.

I have to admit, I still struggle. It's a hard thing.
I'm addicted to cutting myself, and I need help quiting...
either that or I need to get over myself and learn to handle my wants and cravings... if there are any suggestions, I will gladly accept them.
Thanks. Love all you people and hope the best for anyone struggling.

~Lelaine
Lelaine
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2010 10:50 pm

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