Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders  
Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders

Insight

Insight

Postby DangerStranger » Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:46 pm

Hello, I am new to these forums so I am still learning how to do everything. I mean like literally a couple of seconds ago I just made my username. Anywho, I need insight on a couple of things and if you could please give me anything that would be great because I am seriously suffering right now.

In the middle of the night, I am woken up either around 2:00, 3:00, or 4:00 AM. But, as I am entering bed I feel this weird pull or force around me that wants me to sleep toward my door so that I can view everything in my room if I were to wake up. I began sleeping towards the wall when I first became afraid of the dark. I was afraid because I would see things. In the past, it would be in any color that you could imagine. But more frequently now the colors seem to remain with bright green, red, and the most common are black and purple. A while ago, I used to see creatures and spiders and outlines of people. Creatures that you would never even imagine. But, now I mostly see just bright colors appear randomly, but when it's purple I start to feel very afraid.

I am afraid when I see purple because that is the same color that appears every night when I am awoken. I first wake up in a hot sweat, and then I lift up to look around my room to see if anything is there. Nothing. Then, I will toss and turn trying to go back asleep. As I am entering a small sleep, I feel things grabbing at my feet and my hands as well as purple and black spiraling together when my eyes are completely closed. I generally sleep with the TV on now, but when it's off I open my eyes and I will see the same purple with the black bedroom. When my eyes are open, it will make figures and things but I tend to ignore it because I don't want to go back to seeing the creatures that I used to see in the past.

I have gone through episodes where I have gotten myself so scared that I felt like I was losing my mind at points, like completely entering into a state where I couldn't even function. I get dizzy spills sometimes during the day, and I have loads of dejavu. Day or night, I will hear voices. It will start out soft and sweet, and then turn to violent and dangerous. Saying things such as "everything will be okay, " or "I'm going to kill you..."

Much more has happened to me, and I have looked up hypnapompic hallucinations and that seems to make sense to a lot of what I have experienced. Yet, the thing is, I am not paralyzed whatsoever when I wake up. I am completely aware and awake for everything and I also can move around because during the middle of the night I tend to shift sleeping locations to try and avoid this from happening but it doesn't really do anything to help. I have read that people say not to watch TV before bed and get more clued into books, as well as listening to more music so I am going to try that. But, the thing is, this never goes away. It happens to me every night and I can't understand why. There is no history of mental illnesses in my family, and I still have yet to see a psychiatrist because my parents don't think anything is wrong with me.

I function quite fine as a person, at least I think and I do not show any signs of being psychotic. I just don't think this makes me insane. But like I said, if you have any kind of insight you can provide for me that would be DEEPLY appreciated.
DangerStranger
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:31 pm

afraid.

Postby DangerStranger » Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:59 pm

I would really appreciate someone to respond. There has to be someone on right now, for I am here to discuss this if they are. If not, I am here to listen willing to do what it takes to figure out what's wrong with me. I have never been more afraid of anything in my life, and I really can't stand it anymore because of all of the stress that I undergo. If anyone can seriously give me some info that might help, or ANYTHING, I will listen. I'm desperate because I have been searching for way too long to figure this out and nobody seems to understand it.
DangerStranger
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 3:31 pm


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