Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders  
Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders

HPD -- early warning signs

HPD -- early warning signs

Postby hyperborean » Thu May 21, 2009 8:51 pm

I'm glad I stumbled onto this HPD disagnosis, since I've learned a lot and will take the warnings seriously.

I've been dating L. for 6 months ... when we met, she warned me she was "crazy, but good crazy." I came to find out, not always good. But she is gorgeous, sexy, and a lot of fun to be with, so we gradually developed into a serious relationship. There were several bumps along the way, but I attributed them to the newness of it all, plus she was still getting over her divorce (so she said.) She said she had been "living in a tunnel" and needed help getting out. After 3 years, she still hadn't told her family she was divorced, if you can believe that (she explained to them that she was separated.)

I never knew what minor or insignificant word or deed would trigger her anger. One day she would claim she was so lucky to have a great boyfriend like me, or she would send me cards thanking me for all she did for her. Then suddenly she would rip into me about some imagined flaws in my character -- this had no effect on me because I couldn't take what she said seriously.

Although she is habitually late for everything, one night I was an hour late. She left her house before I arrived and refused to answer a phone call. The next morning she told me never to call her again. Yet a day later, she came to see me as though nothing had happened.

Things got really bad because of a trip I was going on with my son -- a trip that had been planned before I dated L. I tried to call her every day, but she seemed to get more and more upset. She wouldn't answer her calls. Then one night we had a 90 minute conversation -- that is how long it took me to calm her down. Yet a day or two later, she went crazy again.

Now that I'm back, she won't see me, yet she calls me. Sometimes she'll ramble in Spanish (no, I don't understand much of Spanish). She ended one conversation with "tu me odios" and hung up on me. However, later on she was lucid and denined having said that. Perhaps she said "adios" and I misunderstood, but I don't think so.

I was talking with a friend of hers who wants us to get back together and thinks L is crazy for leaving me. But if it comes to that, do I even want her back?

The mystery to me is what does she see in me? She claims I calm her down. Perhaps I do, since I am low key and very stable and dependable. Initially I thought we could talk through our problems, but now I'm convinced that that would be futile.
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