Mental Disorders

[Chazz]

Ok this has been killing me and I need answers please. I have a girlfriend/ex girlfriend that needs some help along with myself. We met in 2005 when she was 18 and I was 22. we immediately fell head over heels in love. After dating seriously for a year she became pregnant (accident). we agreed to have the baby so our daughter Bailey, was born in feb. of 2007. she had post-partum depression BIG-TIME and i was not very supportive at all. she has always resented me for that. anyways, we ended up separating in feb of '08, and to be honest, it was probably for the best. i was being a bit controlling, didn't understand the post partum depression, fighting a lot, etc. After being apart for about 8 months, she started asking me to get back together with her. during our time apart she had been seeing 1 guy the whole time and i was with 9 differents girls. she resented how many girls i was with but i resented the fact that she jumped right back into a serious relationship. anyways, she was pretty much begging me to get back with her and after a while, i reluctantly agreed. i didn't think things would ever be the same however the first night we hung out again i loved her more than ever. she was great. things were great with us for the most part other than the fact i was in a commission job and not making much $. after about 4 mos. she just called things off out of nowhere. we weren't really fighting, i sensed some tension but nothing serious. she had no interest in reconciliation, nothing. it was over and that was that. i was so upset. she didnn't want to talk to me, she said she wasn't ready for a family, she pretty much had every excuse in the book to break up and eventually stopped accepting my calls and texts. so i fell into a deep depression. didn't want to talk to any girls and refused to accept that we were over. after about2 months i starting conversing with her on a friendly basis but the whole time i was wanting more. finally, this past may, we decide to give it another go. things are great. we pick out a ring, talk about having another kid, i have a job lined up for this december with serious $ and benefits wiht a local union, we're better than ever. Than, out of nowhere abotu a week ago, she starts and argument wiht me out of nowhere and breaks up wiht me over the phone. refuses to barely talk to me on the phone. says shes too stressed for the relationship and once again, turns into a totally different person. i'm looking for answers asking her questions and she starts attacking me and just saying things to me that she would never say. calling me names she would never call me like it's another person. she refuses counseling or any other type of reconciliation. then i put it together. it was just like the last time. i also forgot to mention that throughout our latest go i would say to her, "please never just do that to me again i couldn't go through that again,(referring to the way we split the time before) etc" she comfort me and would say how we were soulmates and if we did end up having any problems we would work through; yet still, she just dropped me the same exact way, just like the time before. it was almost even like the same time frame and i don't know if this matters or it's just an unecessary detail but she was on her period both times she did this too. there has to be something going on inside of her. there has to be. she refuses to get help so i'm looking for help. can somebody please let me know what's going on inside of her and how to fix it. she says she doesn't love me anymore but i know she does. i'm not a crazy boyfriend that doesn't see the obvious. she literally changes overnight. i know it's not my tarah. she treats me like an enemy. i mean i know there's prob. some resentment issues for the lack of understanding when it came to the post partum but still that doesn't explain the BEYONE SUDDEN change in personality and the way it goes in cycles. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? Please i love this girl soooo much and i want my family. my poor daughter is 2 and a half now and she's starting to understand. i need to know what's happening to my tarah. somebody please help me!!

[Joerge]

Hey Chazz,
Pheww! after reading all that I'm exhausted. It was like you were talking for 10 minutes non-stop.
Well frankly I don't really know what to say. I found your script quite difficult to understand. There is a breakdown in communication, but if you both aren't willing to talk together things can hardly move on. If she has had enough, then really that's that. However you feel there is more to it than that.
What about both of you going to relationship advice or counselling. Get someone else in on it, probably a professional would be best. Maybe they can see things from an outsiders point of view (but getting both of your views, whereas here I am only getting your side).
You seem like a genuine caring person.

[Pugsmack]

Quite a post! Hey Chaze, It sounds to me like she may be Bi-Polar. Too many mood swings like that. It is treatable.

[Eric]

Trust me when I say this Chazz: you need to move on. This girl is going to keep jerking you around, getting back together and breaking things off. She may have a mental disorder of some kind but it's going to take her many years to come to grips and will cause you a great deal of suffering in the process and she may never get better. You are still young and have a life ahead of you. You will fall in love with someone who won't keep leaving you and being hateful to you, who will be a true friend to you, and you will find that you are able to love her much more deeply than Tarah, though I know that hardly seems possible now.

I know that you think you can help her and change her, but that's not realistic. Do what you can to be there for your child, and if you have the money, sue her for custody or visitation rights and challenge her mental stability in court.

I know it hurts now, but you will move on, and you will find someone who will treat you right, and you will love her all the more for that having experienced this.