Mental Disorders

[jackson5]

I am not sure where to begin on here and feel Im desperate at this point. The guilt I am feeling right now even talking about my mom is eating me alive.

It all started Nov 8th 2005 after we watched my 23 year old baby sister pass in our arms of a terminal cancer. Long story short the first year was horrible and my brother and I were by her side 24/7. Well as the years go by and we grow in different directions my mom just gets more sad by the day. Drinks every night to sleep along w/her anti-anxiety meds. She actually calls me her whoobie because she needs me for almost everything..
She has become so negative and gloomy thats its so hard to want to be around her. Doesnt want counceling, i have called her doctors already and nothing....She gets offended at absolutely everything. If she isn't envited to an event, or a dinner she gets angry. If my brother and I want to hang out just us too she gets offended. Im torn in so many directions.

I recently moved out because im getting married..so now she is really alone. I worry for her but she literally sleeps all weekend..doesnt move barely ever...does not have a social life of her own at all...so depends on my brother and I for her entertainment.

Well I can go on and on..



so sad... help!! [/i]

[star2010]

Your mum hasn't gone through her grieving process and is stalled at the stage of loss.
You are getting married soon and it is going to put strain on your marriage with your mum needing you. Being supportive son is one thing but i don't know if your mum has a husband, but it appears that you are filling the role of husband and this is going to be difficult to continue because your wife is going to need you to do that role.

Your mum refuses counselling.
Do some research on different types of counselling, and give her the information. She may not be doing it deliberately but her refusing help to improve her life and staying at the point where she is miserable is making you miserable. Its parents job to support kids, not other way around (ok for short times).

Tell her she MUST see a counsellor specializing in grief.
She looks to you for support, you are the one that she relies on, well pull rank, you have the position where she is making you feel she is dependant, so act the part as the leader and tell her she MUST do it.

Anti anxiety meds are ok for short term, she has had a big loss of her daughter, its time to get help and off the meds. Meds blunten emotions... which is not so good, the emotions need to be felt and gone through, not put in the background where they never get out and finished.

good luck

[Dianasakria]

She actually calls me her whoobie because she needs me for almost everything..
She has become so negative and gloomy thats its so hard to want to be around her. Doesnt want counceling, i have called her doctors already and nothing....She gets offended at absolutely everything. If she isn't envited to an event, or a dinner she gets angry. If my brother and I want to hang out just us too she gets offended. Im torn in so many directions.

[Blaze]

I agree that your mother is grieving as well as you are and your brother,I lost my sister in law in 2006 and my mother drank and cried and did some of the behaviors your mother is diplaying, get your mother into rehab, if she won't go to counseling, go to the local mental health and have them do an assessment, your mom right now does not realize she needs help, it is part of denial. I can assure you that if she keeps spiraling downward, she may be next to die, I am sorry but I am being honest. a persons body can take so much before it completely shuts down. Another option is, you and your brother can commit her and that will force her to get help. Maybe she needs the extreme, sounds like there is nothing left to lose here. I wish u luck, let me know how things are and I am sorry for being frank, but only honesty will help here. Take care.