Mental Disorders

[skang]

Hi

Im new to this forum and hoping someone can help

I have always suffered with stubborness and perfectionism and orderiness since I was at least 5 that I can remember. my family and friends have always just said "thats the way I am" . . but in my heart I think its more than that. Since i had my son 2yrs ago its now not just affecting me but others inclduing my husband around me. I expect him to do everything in life the same way I would, I dont tolerate mistakes, people are stupid for making mistakes unless there is a reallly really good reason which generally there isnt.
Everything has to be in its place, clothes have to be fold the right way, plates have to be stacked and washed in a certain way . .and im expecting others to do it my way. I have extremely high standards and everything in my mind is black and white, there is no grey, thats just an excuse for peoples mistakes. . .its driving me mad, becuase I cant relax becuase something isnt quite in the right place, the shirts could be folded by my husband but not in the right way, so I instead of sitting and relaxing and appreciating it, will get up and unfold and refold as they should be. All the hangers in my wardrobe have to be the right way . .as time goes on i find im ordering more and more things and now its driving me wild, it controls everything I do in life, and im trying to control others around me. I went to see a councellor who said she thinks I have mild OCD, I think its more OCPD though, if my husband puts the washing out, I will check its done the right way, if he has done the washing up I go in and re-order the drying rack to the correct way, if he is doing dinner I go an check he is doing it right. I dont let anyone help me as its easier to do it myself as it will be done right then, things wont be forgotten etc or stacked the wrong way . . im not like it with my son, and not too bad with my mum/brother, its only mainly in the home and at work . . .
I dont think a councellor is trained enough to help or diagnose me . . i dont want to feel this way anymore, I hate being controlled and constrained by people, and this is controlling me and ruining my marriage, im getting angry becuase he didnt put something in the right place, its pathetic . .where can i go for help . . . ..

[journey1]

If you don't trust the counselor spend the big bucks and find a psychiatrist to check you out and offer their opinon. Maybe you'll agree and give them a chance to work with you. 8/12 Sorry for being so snotty. I must have been in a mood. If you don't like your shrink/therapist check out new ones. You have a right to interview them too. Even though it might seem intimatating. Again, sorry for a lousy post.

[mycodename]

I don't want to dissuade you from seeking professional help. I just want to forewarn you that not all credentialed professionals are worth the financial investment. I saw a psychiatrist in private practice for two years at $90/45 minutes, weekly, sometimes twice weekly. He was the head of the psyciatric department at the University hospital in a city of over 1 million people. After two years of experimentation in attempting to relieve a serious depression that came on following the loss of my family in an aviation accident, he made a veiled offer to perform a sexual act for me at which point I concluded I had just wasted over $10,000 out of pocket while this psycho fantasized about homosexual acts.

It was in a city known for it's wierdness so I don't think you are likely to experience the same disappointment that I had but I thought I should warn you to check out any counselor or psychiatrist before trusting them with your mental health or your hard earned money or insurance.

There's a good description of OCPD at Wikipedia. Type OCPD in Google and it should be the first hit or close to it. OCPD differs from OCD. Leave it to psychologists to name two similar but different diseases almost identical names. OCD involves compulsive rituals similar to those portrayed by the TV character MONK. People suffering from OCPD aren't controlled by those compulsions that are employed to relieve anxiety. I would check out the Wikipedia website on OCPD, then OCD, and ask yourself which, or both, apply to your individual behavior. If your current psych doesn't know the difference between the two, then you might want to find a professional that does.

[StepMom]

From your post it sounds like you may well have OCPD. I applaud you for recognizing that something may not be quite right and being willing to seek help. I encourage you to get that help. I have a stepson who has OCPD and it drives me NUTS!!! He is living in our home right now (even though he is 30 years old) and he is quite the tyrant about needing things to be done a particular way. At one time he did get some psychiatric help. They put him on Effexor XR. It made a HUGE difference and helped him manage his anxiety, which helped him control his OCPD. Unfortunately, he stopped seeing the shrink and stopped taking the meds, and now is a nightmare.

I don't know how your husband feels about your actions, but please understand that living with someone who has OCPD can be very difficult, no matter how much they love you. It's hard not to take it personally when everything you do is deemed wrong or not good enough by the person you love. I know you can't help it, but does he?

Good luck and please post to let us know how you're doing.

[justwantpeace]

We've been married for 8 years and I believe I made a mistake for my own mental health. He blames everything on me and I am never good enough. I actually went on an antidepressant to get along better with him. It actually did work and he wants me to stay on it but I am now weaning myself off of it because its not me that needs the meds. I am a good person and hate the constant confrontations and the name calling. He does the cleaning, the shopping, the cooking... everything because I either can't do it correctly or make too much of a mess. I do have a couple jobs that I am "allowed" to handle like emptying the dish washer and making the bed!
People think I have it made because he does everything. He does too, he says I am a spoiled princess. He works at home and I was just laid off from my job so I am home too. I will be so happy when I get a job as it is the only place where I can truly be me.